Today i am wondering if there is a clear line between autistic and neurotypical?
I was thinking, really thinking and observing my little toddler. I definitely see the things that point to autism spectrum, but i don’t see why those things are categorized under the term of autism. When i was little, i knew that autism meant really concerning and bad things, with the passing of time somehow the term widened. Now i feel that everything that is not understood completely by the majority of people has to be put under a category, a name, a condition, and autism became this wide highway where people can shove others in a specific line depending on how different they are compared to the majority. You can be slightly autistic, you can be non verbal or verbal, you can have sensory processing difficulties, etc. i am surprised of how much sophisticated new terms i learned in the past few months.
When you have a child categorized somewhere there, i can tell you it’s really hard. I can read tons of blogs and opinions even from autistic adults who managed life well, but i always will remain scared for my boy.
I have been thinking, remembering about my childhood, because i was, i am different then most people. I have checked some online tests and they show that i am neurotypical, i don’t want to claim that i am autistic (mainly because i respect all autistic people, and their struggles to fit in). But i am certainly different. I have sensory processing difficulties, i can’t stand to touch or wear clothes with synthetic fibers, even if it has only 1 % i can feel it and my whole body breaks out in goosebumps. It’s horrible, i suffer through wearing women stockings when it’s necessary but i feel suffocated. Folding freshly dried clothe is hard also but there are days when i can do that.
I can’t eat strawberries unless i cut them in 4 pieces, this may be because this was the way my parents always prepared it for me but i can’t eat dark grapes because i can’t see through and i don’t know what is inside them, and the white ones i eat crushing them with my tongue not biting them.
I always had problems with making friends, i had really few friends, and i trusted them deeply until every each of them betrayed me. So now i don’t really have friends except my husband who is my love, my friend and my support every day! He doesn’t really know how much he means to me.
I am mostly annoyed by other people and i don’t feel good at social events, i feel annoyed by the usual girl talk about fashion and makeup and things like that.
I know that these things are not enough for me to be put in the autistic category, but they are certainly not neurotypical characteristics. Am i here or there? Am i between? perhaps in the future there will be a half autistic category?
What i want to say is that we don’t need labels for each other, we are different, we each have different desires and traits and there shouldn’t be any finger pointing and categorizing each other over some differences. Some of us are good in math some of us are talented in music, so what? Some of us speak at the age of 1 and some of us at 3 or maybe never, but is that really a problem?
We put our “autistic” children through countless sessions of therapy and activities, instead of letting him discover his talents, his place in the word, his role, …