Thinking out loud.

I promised to myself that i wouldn’t write a post when i am angry or upset. But now, i am passed that phase, i am disappointed, and because i am disappointed with everything around me this is the only manageable outlet right now. I am a whole person, i mean i have strong points, assets, and i have defects too. I am 27 years old and i started to realize a few month ago (roughly around the time i started this blog) that nobody around me knows who i really am. Nobody know what i think most of the time, nobody really see me. And nobody cares that much. Our societies main goal is the fight for power, you find that everywhere, in politics we fight to get high, at our job to be promoted, at school to be better and finally at home in family we fight for the pants, for being the boss. In the meantime we lose ourselves and we lose interest in the others around us. We don’t care that the person we supposedly love the most is hurting because of our actions or words. It always narrows down to who gets the last word. This is the main reason my blog is anonymous, and the reason behind my choice to use WordPress. I wanted to have privacy here, i wanted to be able to make mistakes that no one could hold upon me. So as a result nobody from my friends or family knows about my blog, it may be not a complete anonymous blog, but if they don’t know they don’t search for it, coz they just don’t care. I had a week moment about a month ago and i told my husband, of course he read it right away and said i have talent and all the nice stuff, but i am pretty certain that he was just being doing husband duty…Because since that day he never accessed my blog again, to see what’s new, didn’t asked about it, nothing. Maybe i shouldn’t have told him.

I am not naive i know that my writings here are most likely average or average to good. I love English, i am fascinated by lyrics and different songs and texts, and how they get the perfect words to express how they feel, sometimes i even feel that all the good word associations, metaphors and expressions are already taken and there’s nothing left for me to discover.

In my community if you write or are having a blog it’s considered childish, or it means you just want to get attention desperately, more so if you share it on Facebook or other social media. So i will definitely keep this between us. Maybe you are the only ones who know this about me, i am grateful for every single people who reads my posts, thank you for bearing with me even when I’m upset

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About Purple People Breeder

I am a mother, a wife and a woman, struggling with lots of ideas and i have lots of advice to give :p
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5 Responses to Thinking out loud.

  1. I too post anonymously. It lets me express my feelings better, knowing that people in the real world won’t judge what I do especially since I’m dealing with some very deep issues.

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  2. Muddy mum says:

    I started anonymously. Had a bit of an incident with a blog award nomination so that forced my hand to reveal myself. The whole situation was pretty stressful. I’m ok with being known for blogging now but to be honest I’d much rather be blogging in secret again. In fact I often toy with the idea of a second secret blog.
    I understand how the husband thing makes you feel, mine was like that but he’s now one of my biggest cheerleaders. My parents however refuse to even acknowledge it which maddens and saddens me in equal measure.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yeah, maybe it’s hard for them to understand why, i don’t dare to think about telling my parents, they don’t know english too well and i would end up translating the whole stuff to them, just to get smacked in the face afterwards whith “your wasteing your time”, “what’s it good for”, “surely everybody laughs at you” etc.

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  3. Mrs. J says:

    I recently opened my blog to my Instagram account.. That was eye opening. Some family read mine and immediately decided to “check in”. People I havent talked to in ages, just wanting to get some dirt. My husband used to read my old blog, but he isn’t too interested in this one.. But he’s not a big reader unless it’s sports related 😏
    Being anonymous is wonderful though! But I needed the accountability to not put Too much personal stuff on the Internet haha!

    Liked by 1 person

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