I promised to myself that i wouldn’t write a post when i am angry or upset. But now, i am passed that phase, i am disappointed, and because i am disappointed with everything around me this is the only manageable outlet right now. I am a whole person, i mean i have strong points, assets, and i have defects too. I am 27 years old and i started to realize a few month ago (roughly around the time i started this blog) that nobody around me knows who i really am. Nobody know what i think most of the time, nobody really see me. And nobody cares that much. Our societies main goal is the fight for power, you find that everywhere, in politics we fight to get high, at our job to be promoted, at school to be better and finally at home in family we fight for the pants, for being the boss. In the meantime we lose ourselves and we lose interest in the others around us. We don’t care that the person we supposedly love the most is hurting because of our actions or words. It always narrows down to who gets the last word. This is the main reason my blog is anonymous, and the reason behind my choice to use WordPress. I wanted to have privacy here, i wanted to be able to make mistakes that no one could hold upon me. So as a result nobody from my friends or family knows about my blog, it may be not a complete anonymous blog, but if they don’t know they don’t search for it, coz they just don’t care. I had a week moment about a month ago and i told my husband, of course he read it right away and said i have talent and all the nice stuff, but i am pretty certain that he was just being doing husband duty…Because since that day he never accessed my blog again, to see what’s new, didn’t asked about it, nothing. Maybe i shouldn’t have told him.
I am not naive i know that my writings here are most likely average or average to good. I love English, i am fascinated by lyrics and different songs and texts, and how they get the perfect words to express how they feel, sometimes i even feel that all the good word associations, metaphors and expressions are already taken and there’s nothing left for me to discover.
In my community if you write or are having a blog it’s considered childish, or it means you just want to get attention desperately, more so if you share it on Facebook or other social media. So i will definitely keep this between us. Maybe you are the only ones who know this about me, i am grateful for every single people who reads my posts, thank you for bearing with me even when I’m upset