I decided that it’s time to begin with the advises and stuff, after all that’s what i promised in my For starters post.
I want to start from the beginning, my pregnancy was an easy one, no morning sickness, no sickness whatsoever, no other major problems, i had to monitor my blood tension because of a risk for pre-eclampsia but everything turned out to be fine and i had a c-section exactly on my due date.
What i want to talk about is the first few weeks after my c-section, i stayed 4 days in the hospital, it was horrible for me, i was hurting everywhere and it was hard to get up, it was hard to hold my baby, luckily i had my husband there almost all day, it was a huge help. Otherwise i sort of forbidden anybody to come to visit at the hospital (anybody except my close family, mother, father, mother in law and father in law) i didn’t wanted anyone else to see me that helpless. Honestly i think nobody should go to visit, and here’s my first advice mainly for families and friends of any mother to be:
I. DON’T VISIT AT THE HOSPITAL, it’s a difficult time for the mother especially if she had c-section and she won’t be able to make a normal conversation because she JUST HAD A BABY, just brought a new life into this world she want’s to rest and to hold her newborn.
II. DON’T BRING FLOWERS to the hospital. Firstly the nurses won’t allow the flowers in the room because their powerful smell disturbs the little ones, secondly the mother won’t enjoy them and it’s just a waste of your money. If you insist on going into the hospital then bring some orange juice or anything else but not flowers.
Now lets get to the part when the baby is home. Get prepared for some more amazing advice for the family and friends of the new born baby.
0. Most important rule EVER, if you are not a close family member you don’t come to visit in the first week. If you are a close family member but you are not invited especially by the family again you don’t come to visit at the first week. Believe me it’s not that important to make your selfie with a newborn baby and post it on Facebook that it can’t wait until week number 2. Just let the family get used to the new member of their life, and let them do that in piece. (i was only in my nightgown for a week after my c-section and i really didn’t wanted any visitors to tend to, to fetch baked goods and beverages for anyone, i just wanted to be with my boy to study him to see what he needs, to develop a sort of a routine)
- In a baby’s home (because lets face it, from the moment he’s born it’s he’s house, and the parents are staying there because he needs them and because he is so generous that he lets them stay) you just don’t come to visit without announcing it beforehand. More so you ask if you can come and when you can come, and how long you can stay, because you don’t want to interfere with the little ones bath time or nap time or any other baby time.
- When you come you absolutely need to be punctual, i mean if you agreed with the parents on a specific time let’s say 3 a clock then you are there at 3 o clock sharp. Because if you get there before you may find the mother with her titties all over the place, you don’t want to see that certainly. On the other hand if you come later than you may mess with the baby’s schedule.
- Usually you want to bring something nice for the baby, but if you are not that stubborn you may want to ask the parents what they need, so that they won’t end up with 5 toys that are exactly the same or 10 sets of baby towels, etc. I was the happiest when i got pampers, because you always need them. i even got a nice cake made of pampers and it had a bow on it. It was clever, nice, and useful.
- Now an interesting topic, in my country it’s a habit to give money to a newborn, meaning that you sneak upon the baby when your companion distracts the parents attention and stuff some money bills in the baby’s clothing. If you have the same habit PLEASE DON’T DO THAT. I mean if you want to give money, put it into an envelope, and just give it to the parents. Don’t even think about putting that filthy thing in the crib or into the stroller somewhere. Just think about the germs!
- Another germ related advice. When you enter in a baby’s home, your first trip should be to the bathroom, to wash your hands firmly. Don’t forget that newborns are very sensible and the already sleepless parents doesn’t want to deal with a cold or any other illness caused by germs that you may bring.
- If you are ill, you were ill in the past week you stay put at home. If you have a kid that is ill, or was ill and it’s under medication, you DON’T hide that fact from the parents you say respectfully that you can’t come until you or your kid is healed.
I think these rules should be a common knowledge to everyone, maybe it should be pointed out in schools.
This covers the most important things for me, but as always i accept more suggestion in the comments!!!